[D3, EM] Head count (Open)

[Daidoji Kenzo]

If it was possible for Kenzo's heart to soften any more it just did. "That is not silly at all Hana-san, not in the slightest." He stood up so she could have some modesty. "Is this something you have kept yourself from doing or did others warn you about it? It can be a bit frightening at first, the size and speed, but once you get the hang of it I think you would really enjoy the wind in your hair. Horses are big and powerful but they are tamed and friendly. Plus a ride on the beach sounds like great fun."

[Doji Hanatsuko]

"A bit of both... The Asahina who used to treat me for a while told me that the movement might trigger my condition. I just kept it for myself." She shifted to not show her shame. "I don't know... Kenzo san... It does sound fun though."

[Daidoji Kenzo]

"Let me speak to Moto-sama. I don't know how many horses we have or even if he's in charge of them but u will find out and we can go for a ride together on the beach."

This time he did put a hand on her chin and gently tilted her head up so she could see the smile on his face.

"We all have our burdens and limits Hana-san but from time to time we must test the boundaries of what we find comfortable; we must take the occasional risk. It may lead to pain but we cannot allow the worry of pain to stop us from seeking joy. I cannot promise that something won't bad won't happen but I can promise that I will be there if it does."

[Doji Hanatsuko]

Her blue gray met his, he could see the sorrow that she had endured. "Yes... I know." The Doji agreed. "I should be brave then...and try my best."

[Daidoji Kenzo]

"Don't be brave, be daring. People make such a big deal out of bravery, that a good samurai never knows fear but you wanna know something? It's bullshit. When I got ambushed, when I lost my eye I was terrified. I want to dive off the cliff above us into the sea knowing full well that I could seriously injure myself or die if I screw it up; that scares me but I know that before this week is out I am going to do it."

He took his hand off her chin and placed it on her shoulder.

"Preparation is the biggest remedy for doubt in my opinion. In your case you want to ride a horse but you are concerned you may have an episode while doing it, so how can we reduce that chance? We do it on a beach where there is nothing to run into, just wide open space. You do it with someone who can help you along the way."

He reached into his kimono and pulled out a small clay bottle.

"Since our first meeting I have been sure to carry some water on me just in case something happens and I have a smaller vial of massaging oil that has a soothing scent in case your muscles go rigid. I'm trained in first aid and I know the signs of your condition, I'm sorry I let it get as bad as it did the first time but I won't freeze up like that again. Is there anything else we can do?"

[Doji Hanatsuko]

"I am fine Kenzo san..." She nodded. "I should finish my painting... and I should slowly have a nice log of the island... and thank you." She smiled. "I know that I am someone frail but I have endured 25 years I can continue to endure more."

[Daidoji Kenzo]

He took his hand off her shoulder and began working on dismantling the lean-to again.

"Before we leave here I think you will stop enduing it and start DEFYING it. I don't think your greatness will be stunted by anything."

[Doji Hanatsuko]

"I am not that great Kenzo san... I am just cursed." She frowned "I will enjoy this friendship while it lasts." The painting is almost done, the girl will add some details switching to a finer brush. "You will see what I mean."

[Daidoji Kenzo]

He stopped suddenly, as if he had been struck by some invisible force. "Why do you say that Hana-san, who has cursed you?"

His left hand began to tremble and he sat down near her.

"There is great pain and sadness within you, in your past, will you tell me of it? I will not judge you harshly, I hope you belive that much about me."

Monsters have no room to judge the pure.

[Doji Hanatsuko]

"Name the fortune and I probably have a story to tell." It was like nothing to her to talk about it. "A garden burned, a failed romance, a friend death, a family broken, a humiliation in a court... choose your poison." Life had hit her hard and made her this way, sad and callous. "It is saddening but I really don't even care about any of it right now."

[Daidoji Kenzo]

"Yet you still carry the emotional burden of them, a melancholy clings to you. I've seen your smile and it is lovely, like it could nourish the forest in Lady Sun's absence but you show it so rarely. It certainly sounds like you have led a troubled life but without context it doesn't sound cursed. So what do you care about right now, what troubles you here?"

[Doji Hanatsuko]

"I fail at important things... I failed my family, I failed in love, I know even if I don't think about it I will fail here as well. It doesn't matter... I will fail you or someone else... I just worry that my failure would hurt or kill someone."The Doji said nonchalantly. "I know you want to worry about me but keep that in mind... one day it will happen and our friendship will end because of something I have done. I don't know what it will be but it won't be pretty." The Doji sighed.

[Daidoji Kenzo]

"I am no stranger to failure." He started but stopped and all the Crane training dropped out of his voice.

"Look, anyone who was stupid enough to deny your romantic advances is a fool you are probably better off without. I don't WANT to worry about you, but I do. I would much rather see you happy while we are here. One day we will have to return to the mainland and our terrible lives. Back home I wear my smile like a mask, here it is genuine and I haven't been this happy in a decade.

Don't you see, nothing that happened before matters here. My failed marriage, your disappointed family, the blood on my hands and your courtly disaster mean nothing here unless we let them. But you need to allow yourself to drop those burdens, I did it at the dock when we first got here. Cry into my arms or scream into the storm, whatever it takes to break the pain and let it out; hell take it out on me if that will help.

You're angry at the clan so hit me, hit me as much and as hard as you can I promise I can take it and when you are done we will go have some tea."

[Doji Hanatsuko]

The lady shook her head. "No Kenzo san... I am not angry, I do not wish to cry... my eyes are already dried. My emotions are no longer important... and for an artisan like me, it is for the best. I wake that up... those emotions not in myself but in others." The woman looked at her painting that is done. "I know that the happiness you wish I feel is there somewhere but it is buried deep with all those positive feelings that this one once had." She sighed. "Maybe is best for you to forget me." The lady stood and closed the book.

[Daidoji Kenzo]

"And if I refuse?" He said, his smile returning. "I know much of the pain you have have suffered, we have much in common despite our differences. I have..."

Kenzo knew that nothing short of the truth was likely to get her to understand even if it meant bringing up feelings he had long buried.

"You speak of curses and think it will only hurt me if I continue to try and be close to you." He took a deep breath. "I AM cursed. Truly. This is not something I share lightly but Lord moon has cast his gaze upon me. I am a monster, a murderer, when it comes on I have to isolate myself else it often becomes...bloody. I...I have..."

He took another breath and while not on the verge of tears he was filled with a self-loathing that made him turn red.

"I have butchered innocents and taken advantage of those physically weaker than me. I don't remember any of it, but I have seen the aftermath and been told of my crimes. The fact that they were heimin is the only reason I yet live despite my requests for seppuku. I watch Lord Moon rise each night and I know that soon I will have to leave the village for everyone's sake. I think that's why I want Komyo-san to come stay in the inn, then I will know the forest is empty and safe. When the moon comes full again and his gaze lands upon me I will venture as deep into the forest as possible, warnings be damned as I will not let it happen again. If the stories are true about this place the forest will claim me and that will be the end of it."

He took one more deep cleansing breath.

"But that is then, for now I am just trying to enjoy the now with people I like and try to be as helpful as possible. So no, I will not forget you Hana-san, not while I still can. That is why I want to help you, because sooner or later I won't be able to."

[Doji Hanatsuko]

"You did what Lord Moon asked." She said emotionless. "Your body acted and you remember nothing. Mine didn't act and let a friend die. One of the few I had considered friends." She placed the book on her obi. Her voice leveled. "I will not control your wishes and desire is a sin. Do as you please there are always consequences for each action that one takes." The Doji looked at the Daidoji. "You want to live a free life go ahead, this one will not stop you. You want to follow your heart then go ahead. I will balance your fun."

[Daidoji Kenzo]

"I would rather you have the fun here, my time is short. I would trade my other eye to see you happy as I would trade my life to bring back the family I took. YOU have a future Hana-san, please don't bury it in regret. It may annoy you but I'm going to make it my mission to bring you joy here. I don't know how yet and I doubt you will tell me, that would be far too easy but I promised I would help you and for as long as I can I will. So if there is something I can, besides moving on or forgetting you, please tell me."

[Doji Hanatsuko]

"I should be dead Kenzo san, with my condition." She shrugged. "But here I am... I guess to let you help me will help yourself. You should not give up so easily... battle lord moon as I battle that which I cannot control..." He would note she is a bit grounded now. "I will see you the night of the full moon and you will remember me." Then she chuckled. "Let's start with that horse ride."

[Daidoji Kenzo]

"I will speak with Moto-sama on that as the only horses here are the Unicorn's and they are very protective of their horses but I think I can talk him into it, we would only need one horse anyway given their size. Would you be comfortable sharing a saddle with me?"

[Doji Hanatsuko]

"It will be fine to share a saddle." The young lady nodded. "Thank you... for trying to help me."